Deep Breath and Let it Go

Sickness has made it's way through our house and we are finally coming out on the other side. For days I could hardly get up, let alone take care of my little munchkin. Next our son got sick and the two of us were down and out. Thank goodness for my husband, who didn't get sick, who was able to be around and take care of our son and keep the household running (relatively) smoothly. I am still not feeling 100% yet, but I am so thankful that I am now able to make it through the day and look after our son when my husband has to work. Thank goodness for the small things. One thing about being sick is that it helps you to appreciate your good health once it returns.

Being sick over the last couple of days has caused my project to be temporarily on hold. Over those days I felt a small amount of quilt over not 'keeping up' or 'checking in' on the blog entries. Then I stopped to think about myself. What do I need right now? Soup, rest, TLC. Should I really feel guilty over something that I am trying to do to be happier? An interesting question. While part of me wanted this project to be a challenge and I wanted to do/write something every day so that I would be making the effort and not giving up, the other part of me was thinking 'Are you crazy? You're sick! This isn't about being lazy, or giving up. This is about what you need to do for yourself and your family right now. Right now guilt over not blogging is not what you need.'

And, of course, that second part of me was right. I still have an occasional back of the mind thought about how I should have written or done something while sick, but I am taking a breath and letting it go. Why feel guilty about something like that when the reason for this project is to feel good? It's little things like this that I am trying to work on letting go of so that I can live my life and enjoy the good stuff instead of dwelling on and feeling bad about the little things. Giving myself a break and cutting myself some slack from time to time sure does feel better than feeling guilty. So, I take a deep breath and let it go.

It is not like I abandoned my happiness project while sick. Although not actively trying to think about things during the day and reflecting at night, I tried to do less sick whining (although that did happen) and more loving. When my husband asked for cream for his dry hands, instead of passing it to him I rubbed it in on his hands since I know he loves it. I know, not much effort on my part right? Yet I wouldn't always do it in the past. There was always an excuse in my head. I'm too tired. Why should I do that for him if he doesn't do it for me? I know he loves it and I hope that these small things will make him happier and in turn may help to improve our relationship.

I have now picked up and am starting to read a copy of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. It promises to be a good read and I am hoping to use some ideas from it to help track my own happiness project and inspire my efforts. Gretchen's project seems to have been very well researched and thought out before her start on January 1st. Mine, on the other hand, was an abstract thought until just before New Year's when I decided I would try something new. It will be more fluid and will evolve over the year. I think at first I will be exploring thoughts and themes of happiness for me and what I think might work and what is important to me. Then I will look at ways to implement these changes. So I guess not so different from Gretchen at all, just on a different timeline. She worked through the thought process and research ahead of time to start implementation on January 1st. I will get there too, in my own time.