I want a new (to us) house so badly it hurts!
We have been looking for a new house for over a year and I am ready to finally have a new place. We are looking for a little more space, a nice yard, trees, etc etc, A place we can spend the next 20+ years and raise our kid(s).
We have offered on a few places previously but nothing has stuck. We have even listed our house in the hopes that it will sell and we can jump at the 'perfect' house if/when it comes on the market.
Listing our house has already taught us a few lessons:
1. We really want a house. I mean, we are willing to sell our house now with no prospect of another house because we want a different house so much. We want a house so badly we have talked about and are willing to move in with my parents for a time if we have to.
2. Prepping a house to 'show well' once listed is tough, and a lot of work. My parent's garage full of our extra furniture and boxes is testament to all of the extra 'stuff' we have accumulated.
3. We have lived for more than two weeks so far without all that 'stuff'. Other than a few things I miss/wish I had, I have no idea what we used/needed the other 'stuff' for.
4. Living life in a listed house isn't fun. Especially with a toddler. Trying to keep it 'clean enough' is an ongoing battle.
5. We are not normally very tidy people. We love that our house is clean to come home to each day, but we are constantly fighting against our inner slobs (see #2).
6. We are living life in limbo. It is spring. It is nice outside. Normally I would be planning and planting my gardens. This is hard to do when we don't know if and when we would leave our house. I don't want to put all the time and money in and then not get to enjoy them. But I want to plant flowers!
7. People creeping on our house is... creepy! We had someone show up at our front door the other day and start asking about the house. He mentioned he had a 'look around' and liked it and wanted to see more. I directed him to our/his agent. What did he mean, look around? Have you been in our backyard?
8. We are second guessing ourselves. Our house is amazing to us (we have put a lot of work into it and made a lot of changes), but not everyone sees it that way. We thought we would have offers right away on our house. We were wrong.
9. Real estate in our neighbourhood is nuts! I am afraid we won't find a place we like that is in our area and our price range.
Wish us luck!
Tuesday, 28 April 2015
Spring has sprung
Spring is finally springing.
My head is full of outdoor activities that I want to do when it is HOT, but we will have to make an effort to get outside and enjoy it now and not just wait for 'better weather'.
We've spent some time outside walking and in our yard already. This weekend I hope to go for a hike and soak in the sun's rays and enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells of the outdoors.
Get out there and enjoy spring!
My head is full of outdoor activities that I want to do when it is HOT, but we will have to make an effort to get outside and enjoy it now and not just wait for 'better weather'.
We've spent some time outside walking and in our yard already. This weekend I hope to go for a hike and soak in the sun's rays and enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells of the outdoors.
Get out there and enjoy spring!
Sunday, 27 April 2014
After so much time has passed, it is hard to get back to this again. The high hopes I had for blogging here and sharing my stories have gone. Real life has settled in. In the chaos of our everyday life I am realizing that this original idea won't work for me. I want to blog. I want to share. But I can't do it every day. I can't post all the time. I am too busy living :)
I have been trying and mostly succeeding in finding my happiness on a day to day basis. I try to relish those small things that bring me joy. Most times it works, others it does not. One thing that I have started and enjoyed is my daily calendar.
I have created a calendar with a card for every day of the year. OK, so I have only made the first four months so far, but it has been enough for a start. Each day I write on that card something that I did. It can be simple, like 'cleaned the house' or special: 'Steve bought me flowers for no reason'. It has been a fun memory tool even just looking back on the past few months. The idea is that if you continue this for year(s) to come, you have a form of mini-diary or glance into your life. Next year I can see what I was doing a year ago and see how things have changed or stayed the same. Already it has provided smiles and sparked memories looking back.
As my time on mat. leave winds down, I think of all the things I should/want/need to do. I struggle with the idea of going back to work, as I am sure every mom does. I want to make the most of these last few months together. I want to have adventures and create great memories that I can put into my calendar. They will help me as I get back to work and will make me smile as I read back through. I want to make this last time together special.
Tonight I will dream of adventures we can take together.
I have been trying and mostly succeeding in finding my happiness on a day to day basis. I try to relish those small things that bring me joy. Most times it works, others it does not. One thing that I have started and enjoyed is my daily calendar.
I have created a calendar with a card for every day of the year. OK, so I have only made the first four months so far, but it has been enough for a start. Each day I write on that card something that I did. It can be simple, like 'cleaned the house' or special: 'Steve bought me flowers for no reason'. It has been a fun memory tool even just looking back on the past few months. The idea is that if you continue this for year(s) to come, you have a form of mini-diary or glance into your life. Next year I can see what I was doing a year ago and see how things have changed or stayed the same. Already it has provided smiles and sparked memories looking back.
As my time on mat. leave winds down, I think of all the things I should/want/need to do. I struggle with the idea of going back to work, as I am sure every mom does. I want to make the most of these last few months together. I want to have adventures and create great memories that I can put into my calendar. They will help me as I get back to work and will make me smile as I read back through. I want to make this last time together special.
Tonight I will dream of adventures we can take together.
Tuesday, 18 February 2014
Sickness, travel, and life in general
Wow. After one month of sickness on and off in our household, I think we are finally back on track again.
My son and I were sick for most of the month of January. It was awful. There were a number of days when I was so sick that my husband had to take time off work and care for our son because I was unable to get out of bed. I nursed and slept. I tried to drink and eat but for a while nothing would stay down. Thank goodness that my husband, who didn't get sick, was able to be around and take care of our son and keep the household running (relatively) smoothly. One thing about being sick is that it helps you to appreciate your good health once it returns.
A few days after I got hit, our son got hit with whatever bug was going around. He had a fever for the first time on Wednesday night and it was a terrible night for us. I still felt petty sick myself and then I was also awake for a large part of the night holding him and worrying. His fever never got too high, but it was enough for me to worry. He was cranky and cried for hours on and off. He was so tired but couldn't stay asleep and every time he would fall asleep in our arms he would wake up and scream seconds or minutes later. Finally around 2:30 am he fell asleep for a few hours. It turns out he had an ear infection and with some medication, rest, and TLC he got over it. Poor boy!
At the start of February we had our first family vacation and made the trek to Florida to escape the snow. We had a wonderful time in the warm weather (although it was cooler there than normal). We had a couple of foggy and rainy days, which was unfortunate, but we still made the most of our time there and still biked/played mini golf in the rain. It was still much warmer than home! Our son enjoyed being outside in shorts and t-shirt and like to swim in the pool and dip his feet in the ocean. It was a blast.
I was a little worried about flying with our son for the first time but he was an angel. Even with some flight delays he still only got a little fussy and managed to sleep for most of the time on the planes. There were a couple of times that I was convinced he was going to have a screaming fit but I was able to calm him down and keep him fairly content. Phew!
Now we are finally home and trying to get back into a stable routine so that he will go back to sleeping through the night. With Christmas being so hectic, sickness in January, and traveling at the start of this month, we have not been to successful with having him sleep through the night. Since we've been home though, we have been able to be more consistent and he has slept through the night (or at least woken up and fallen back asleep without our help and without much crying) at least half of the nights in the past week. Fingers crossed that we can keep it up!
My son and I were sick for most of the month of January. It was awful. There were a number of days when I was so sick that my husband had to take time off work and care for our son because I was unable to get out of bed. I nursed and slept. I tried to drink and eat but for a while nothing would stay down. Thank goodness that my husband, who didn't get sick, was able to be around and take care of our son and keep the household running (relatively) smoothly. One thing about being sick is that it helps you to appreciate your good health once it returns.
A few days after I got hit, our son got hit with whatever bug was going around. He had a fever for the first time on Wednesday night and it was a terrible night for us. I still felt petty sick myself and then I was also awake for a large part of the night holding him and worrying. His fever never got too high, but it was enough for me to worry. He was cranky and cried for hours on and off. He was so tired but couldn't stay asleep and every time he would fall asleep in our arms he would wake up and scream seconds or minutes later. Finally around 2:30 am he fell asleep for a few hours. It turns out he had an ear infection and with some medication, rest, and TLC he got over it. Poor boy!
At the start of February we had our first family vacation and made the trek to Florida to escape the snow. We had a wonderful time in the warm weather (although it was cooler there than normal). We had a couple of foggy and rainy days, which was unfortunate, but we still made the most of our time there and still biked/played mini golf in the rain. It was still much warmer than home! Our son enjoyed being outside in shorts and t-shirt and like to swim in the pool and dip his feet in the ocean. It was a blast.
I was a little worried about flying with our son for the first time but he was an angel. Even with some flight delays he still only got a little fussy and managed to sleep for most of the time on the planes. There were a couple of times that I was convinced he was going to have a screaming fit but I was able to calm him down and keep him fairly content. Phew!
Now we are finally home and trying to get back into a stable routine so that he will go back to sleeping through the night. With Christmas being so hectic, sickness in January, and traveling at the start of this month, we have not been to successful with having him sleep through the night. Since we've been home though, we have been able to be more consistent and he has slept through the night (or at least woken up and fallen back asleep without our help and without much crying) at least half of the nights in the past week. Fingers crossed that we can keep it up!
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
Working Toward A Meaning
The last couple of days have been a little tough. I have been thinking a lot about my maternity leave and returning to work and have had a lot of trouble trying to wrap my head around my inevitable return to work. Before I had my son I just assumed it would be a fairly easy and smooth transition. I even thought I would take only 6-9 months off for maternity leave. Now, at the almost 6 month mark, I am not so sure. It has been causing some anxiety and the unknown is making me feel down in the dumps so I am trying to tackle it head-on.
I am struggling to figure out how it will all work. I thought that I would go back early or, at the very least, go back part time before the year was up. Now I have all these doubts. How do I feel about having someone else take care of my baby when he is so young? Will I feel that I am missing out on him growing up and watching him learn? They change so much in the first year! Will I ever feel ready to go back to work full/part time? How will I afford any of this? Are these questions harder to answer because I don't know if I love my job?
I am carrying some guilt about taking the full year off. I work at a small company that is male-dominated. I am the only professional female there. I am the first person to take maternity leave at the company. I feel that I should be stepping up and getting back to work ASAP. It doesn't help the guilty feelings when the boss makes off-handed comments about how his wife only took 3 months off. Granted, they are not pressuring me to return early, although they have mentioned that they would like to have me back as soon as I can. And it makes me feel guilty. Will this effect my position in the company in the future? Will this change my chances of becoming a partner?
I have decided that no matter when I decide to/have to go back to work it is going to be hard. I will miss being with my son every day. Don't get me wrong, I do miss my job and having a career right now, but I will miss my son when I go back. So maybe part time work (at least at the beginning) makes sense.
The next question I try to tackle is finances. My ideal plan would be to ease back into working part time (either before the year is up or at the one year mark). But how will I be able to work it out financially? Most day cares require that you pay for full time care when your child is so young regardless of if your child is there full time or part time. Full time daycare is expensive and would mean that my part time salary would not have a lot left over to pay for other household/living expenses. To me that means that going back to work part time before the year is up doesn't really make much sense financially. Maybe I would try part time once the year is up and just suffer financially for a few more months...?
Finally, I have messed up the whole thought process by asking myself if I really like my job and do I really want to/see myself doing this job for the rest of my life? I don't know. This is a whole other can of worms. I don't mind my job, but there have been a few times in the past when I have hated it. But what would I love to do? What would make me happy (and make decent money)? And how do I decide what to try and do? What if it means more school? Starting from the bottom again? Am I ready for any or all of these things? I don't want to just stay where I am because it is easier. I want to be happier overall, and a person's career is a major part of their day to day life. But what if I go through all the time and effort of making a change (read: going back to school) just to find out that I am not happier at the new job?
In the end I am left with more questions. Questions about money, time, and if there is a better job (ie a job that is better suited for me, not just something that pays better) out there for me. And one final question: How do I go about figuring all of this out?
Talking it out like this is usually my first step. My next step is usually to sleep on it - keep moving forward while I think about these things in the back of my head. Hopefully I will be able to come to some sort of subconscious understanding of what I really want/need to do or, at the very least, come up with some strategies for tackling these problems and finding solutions.
In the meantime, I find the best medicine is to put my head down and accomplish some things that will help me feel better on a day to day basis while my mind stews on these issues. I am making myself a list of things that need to get done around the house and projects that I have started and need to finish. I am a goal-oriented person, so these short term goals will help me to be positive while I work on the big picture.
I am going to look on the bright side now. I guess after thinking it through I am going to take the full year off after all. At least this gives me some time right now to work though these thoughts and try to decide what I would like to do. All that's left is to gently break this news to my boss...
I am struggling to figure out how it will all work. I thought that I would go back early or, at the very least, go back part time before the year was up. Now I have all these doubts. How do I feel about having someone else take care of my baby when he is so young? Will I feel that I am missing out on him growing up and watching him learn? They change so much in the first year! Will I ever feel ready to go back to work full/part time? How will I afford any of this? Are these questions harder to answer because I don't know if I love my job?
I am carrying some guilt about taking the full year off. I work at a small company that is male-dominated. I am the only professional female there. I am the first person to take maternity leave at the company. I feel that I should be stepping up and getting back to work ASAP. It doesn't help the guilty feelings when the boss makes off-handed comments about how his wife only took 3 months off. Granted, they are not pressuring me to return early, although they have mentioned that they would like to have me back as soon as I can. And it makes me feel guilty. Will this effect my position in the company in the future? Will this change my chances of becoming a partner?
I have decided that no matter when I decide to/have to go back to work it is going to be hard. I will miss being with my son every day. Don't get me wrong, I do miss my job and having a career right now, but I will miss my son when I go back. So maybe part time work (at least at the beginning) makes sense.
The next question I try to tackle is finances. My ideal plan would be to ease back into working part time (either before the year is up or at the one year mark). But how will I be able to work it out financially? Most day cares require that you pay for full time care when your child is so young regardless of if your child is there full time or part time. Full time daycare is expensive and would mean that my part time salary would not have a lot left over to pay for other household/living expenses. To me that means that going back to work part time before the year is up doesn't really make much sense financially. Maybe I would try part time once the year is up and just suffer financially for a few more months...?
Finally, I have messed up the whole thought process by asking myself if I really like my job and do I really want to/see myself doing this job for the rest of my life? I don't know. This is a whole other can of worms. I don't mind my job, but there have been a few times in the past when I have hated it. But what would I love to do? What would make me happy (and make decent money)? And how do I decide what to try and do? What if it means more school? Starting from the bottom again? Am I ready for any or all of these things? I don't want to just stay where I am because it is easier. I want to be happier overall, and a person's career is a major part of their day to day life. But what if I go through all the time and effort of making a change (read: going back to school) just to find out that I am not happier at the new job?
In the end I am left with more questions. Questions about money, time, and if there is a better job (ie a job that is better suited for me, not just something that pays better) out there for me. And one final question: How do I go about figuring all of this out?
Talking it out like this is usually my first step. My next step is usually to sleep on it - keep moving forward while I think about these things in the back of my head. Hopefully I will be able to come to some sort of subconscious understanding of what I really want/need to do or, at the very least, come up with some strategies for tackling these problems and finding solutions.
In the meantime, I find the best medicine is to put my head down and accomplish some things that will help me feel better on a day to day basis while my mind stews on these issues. I am making myself a list of things that need to get done around the house and projects that I have started and need to finish. I am a goal-oriented person, so these short term goals will help me to be positive while I work on the big picture.
I am going to look on the bright side now. I guess after thinking it through I am going to take the full year off after all. At least this gives me some time right now to work though these thoughts and try to decide what I would like to do. All that's left is to gently break this news to my boss...
Sunday, 12 January 2014
Deep Breath and Let it Go
Sickness has made it's way through our house and we are finally coming
out on the other side. For days I could hardly get up, let alone take
care of my little munchkin. Next our son got sick and the two of us were
down and out. Thank goodness for my husband, who didn't get sick, who
was able to be around and take care of our son and keep the household
running (relatively) smoothly. I am still not feeling 100% yet, but I am
so thankful that I am now able to make it through the day and look
after our son when my husband has to work. Thank goodness for the small
things. One thing about being sick is that it helps you to appreciate
your good health once it returns.
Being sick over the last couple of days has caused my project to be temporarily on hold. Over those days I felt a small amount of quilt over not 'keeping up' or 'checking in' on the blog entries. Then I stopped to think about myself. What do I need right now? Soup, rest, TLC. Should I really feel guilty over something that I am trying to do to be happier? An interesting question. While part of me wanted this project to be a challenge and I wanted to do/write something every day so that I would be making the effort and not giving up, the other part of me was thinking 'Are you crazy? You're sick! This isn't about being lazy, or giving up. This is about what you need to do for yourself and your family right now. Right now guilt over not blogging is not what you need.'
And, of course, that second part of me was right. I still have an occasional back of the mind thought about how I should have written or done something while sick, but I am taking a breath and letting it go. Why feel guilty about something like that when the reason for this project is to feel good? It's little things like this that I am trying to work on letting go of so that I can live my life and enjoy the good stuff instead of dwelling on and feeling bad about the little things. Giving myself a break and cutting myself some slack from time to time sure does feel better than feeling guilty. So, I take a deep breath and let it go.
It is not like I abandoned my happiness project while sick. Although not actively trying to think about things during the day and reflecting at night, I tried to do less sick whining (although that did happen) and more loving. When my husband asked for cream for his dry hands, instead of passing it to him I rubbed it in on his hands since I know he loves it. I know, not much effort on my part right? Yet I wouldn't always do it in the past. There was always an excuse in my head. I'm too tired. Why should I do that for him if he doesn't do it for me? I know he loves it and I hope that these small things will make him happier and in turn may help to improve our relationship.
I have now picked up and am starting to read a copy of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. It promises to be a good read and I am hoping to use some ideas from it to help track my own happiness project and inspire my efforts. Gretchen's project seems to have been very well researched and thought out before her start on January 1st. Mine, on the other hand, was an abstract thought until just before New Year's when I decided I would try something new. It will be more fluid and will evolve over the year. I think at first I will be exploring thoughts and themes of happiness for me and what I think might work and what is important to me. Then I will look at ways to implement these changes. So I guess not so different from Gretchen at all, just on a different timeline. She worked through the thought process and research ahead of time to start implementation on January 1st. I will get there too, in my own time.
Being sick over the last couple of days has caused my project to be temporarily on hold. Over those days I felt a small amount of quilt over not 'keeping up' or 'checking in' on the blog entries. Then I stopped to think about myself. What do I need right now? Soup, rest, TLC. Should I really feel guilty over something that I am trying to do to be happier? An interesting question. While part of me wanted this project to be a challenge and I wanted to do/write something every day so that I would be making the effort and not giving up, the other part of me was thinking 'Are you crazy? You're sick! This isn't about being lazy, or giving up. This is about what you need to do for yourself and your family right now. Right now guilt over not blogging is not what you need.'
And, of course, that second part of me was right. I still have an occasional back of the mind thought about how I should have written or done something while sick, but I am taking a breath and letting it go. Why feel guilty about something like that when the reason for this project is to feel good? It's little things like this that I am trying to work on letting go of so that I can live my life and enjoy the good stuff instead of dwelling on and feeling bad about the little things. Giving myself a break and cutting myself some slack from time to time sure does feel better than feeling guilty. So, I take a deep breath and let it go.
It is not like I abandoned my happiness project while sick. Although not actively trying to think about things during the day and reflecting at night, I tried to do less sick whining (although that did happen) and more loving. When my husband asked for cream for his dry hands, instead of passing it to him I rubbed it in on his hands since I know he loves it. I know, not much effort on my part right? Yet I wouldn't always do it in the past. There was always an excuse in my head. I'm too tired. Why should I do that for him if he doesn't do it for me? I know he loves it and I hope that these small things will make him happier and in turn may help to improve our relationship.
I have now picked up and am starting to read a copy of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project. It promises to be a good read and I am hoping to use some ideas from it to help track my own happiness project and inspire my efforts. Gretchen's project seems to have been very well researched and thought out before her start on January 1st. Mine, on the other hand, was an abstract thought until just before New Year's when I decided I would try something new. It will be more fluid and will evolve over the year. I think at first I will be exploring thoughts and themes of happiness for me and what I think might work and what is important to me. Then I will look at ways to implement these changes. So I guess not so different from Gretchen at all, just on a different timeline. She worked through the thought process and research ahead of time to start implementation on January 1st. I will get there too, in my own time.
Sunday, 5 January 2014
Can you can have it all - and smile too?
Friday night was a great night out. Although I was tired Saturday, it was amazing to get out and be myself again instead of being a mother all the time. The dance floor was pretty empty so the girls and I had lots of space to dance just like old times. A huge thanks to my husband for being such a trooper and being OK with me taking a night (and the following morning) off.
This morning we took time for ourselves and went to yoga while the grandparents watched our son. I was smiling just waiting for the class to start! An hour or two when I don't have to watch my son; some time out with my husband; a yoga class to make me feel great! I couldn't have asked for a better morning. :)
This afternoon the stars aligned and our son played happily in his jolly jumper while my husband and I cut up vegetables to make salsa. With some juggling of the baby this afternoon we managed to make a bunch of jars of salsa, wash both of the cars, shovel the driveway, clean the bathrooms, and walk the dog - all before 6:00 pm!
This weekend has given me lots to smile about. I have been able to have it all: some time for myself, some quality family time, and some cleaning and cooking accomplishments. Once again it was nothing in particular that made this weekend great, but I think changing my perspective about things has really helped me feel great about each day. Maybe this is the key? Not trying to accomplish anything spectacular or grand each day, but to appreciate the small things that make life special. So far it seems to be working for me.
This morning we took time for ourselves and went to yoga while the grandparents watched our son. I was smiling just waiting for the class to start! An hour or two when I don't have to watch my son; some time out with my husband; a yoga class to make me feel great! I couldn't have asked for a better morning. :)
This afternoon the stars aligned and our son played happily in his jolly jumper while my husband and I cut up vegetables to make salsa. With some juggling of the baby this afternoon we managed to make a bunch of jars of salsa, wash both of the cars, shovel the driveway, clean the bathrooms, and walk the dog - all before 6:00 pm!
This weekend has given me lots to smile about. I have been able to have it all: some time for myself, some quality family time, and some cleaning and cooking accomplishments. Once again it was nothing in particular that made this weekend great, but I think changing my perspective about things has really helped me feel great about each day. Maybe this is the key? Not trying to accomplish anything spectacular or grand each day, but to appreciate the small things that make life special. So far it seems to be working for me.
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